Turn Right · Lesson
Attitude
What are your Attitudes and Harnesses in your life? Our attitude is all about what is between our ears and how we respond to harnesses.
Attitude is your response to a harness.
Types of Harnesses
Consequences
- 1) Decisions others made for you.
- 2) Worst two decisions ever made for you by someone else.
- 3) Decisions you made for yourself or by yourself.
- 4) Worst two decisions you ever made for yourself.
- a) We always seem to need to blame someone else for the consequences of making bad decisions.
- b) One of the main problems with not being responsible for making bad choices — we become injured by the outcome, then self-important, then eventually selfish.
Learning Opportunities
- Timing.
- Scope.
- Desired end results:
- 1) The requirements of class time — getting in my way?
- 2) I never listed or listened?
- 3) With all that I wanted or did not want, I never cared about what I was learning — it made no sense.
- a) Disabled?
- b) Undisciplined?
Living Conditions (Environment)
1) What I did not have
- a) No mom who cared.
- b) No dad who cared.
- c) No teachers who cared.
- d) Horrible place, or no place, to live.
2) What was wrong about what/how I lived — very poor
- a) I was abused by someone in my family.
- b) I was abused by someone who I did not know.
- c) I was allowed to do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.
- d) I did not have clean clothes or decent shoes.
- e) I was left alone for hours on end.
3) What was done to me
- a) My imagination was in control.
- b) Words were used on me that were unfair.
- c) Words were used around me that hurt others.
- d) Horrible words were continually used by the people closest to me.
4) What I missed because of no discipline
- a) I did not show up for class.
- b) I did not pass any tests that I needed to take to advance.
- c) I could not be active in any school activities.
- d) I lost my virginity at an early age.
- e) I was not trusted by others because I started lying about things in my life.
- f) I did not have good outcomes from decisions I made because I did not care about anyone else in my home or social circle.
Locations Where Things Happen
1) Everything was “dirty”
- a) Clothes.
- b) My bed.
- c) The bathroom I used.
- d) The homes of my friends.
- e) The thoughts that I had about others (opposite sex).
2) Everything was always out of order
- a) Any toys I had as a kid.
- b) The vehicles that my family had.
- c) What food we ate and when we ate it.
- d) The time I went to bed every night.
3) I never had any money
- a) I had to borrow from everyone else all the time.
- b) I learned how to “lift” money from others in my family.
- c) I learned how to scam stores in order to get “free” stuff.
- d) I began to sell “stuff” in order to have money.
- e) I got caught selling “stuff” and started to get into crime.
4) The best place to be was on the “street”
- a) I only spent time with my friends.
- b) I only wanted to do things that caused drama.
- c) I became “hooked” on drama.
- d) I increased the drama to higher degrees of excess.
- e) I was under the influence of depending on drama for my daily routines.
Abundance & Shortage
Abundance (“feast”): whatever was given to me or taken by me and did not come from any effort that I made.
Feast
- a) I knew where I could get stuff just for the taking.
- b) I began to make a schedule for myself that included time for getting handouts.
- c) I learned ways to take things that I did not earn — and not feel guilty.
- d) I taught others how to get something for nothing, and chose friends by who agreed with me on how to live “feast to feast.”
- e) I lived for the chance to get “more.”
Shortage (“famine”): because you have something that I do not have, I want what you have.
Famine
- a) Because you have more than one of that thing, I will take all that you have — because I need those things more than you do.
- b) I am struggling with making my life work right, so I need you to let me use your success as my footstool instead of me making my life work better.
- c) Because I do not have any measure of making my life better, I will call that a disability. I am disabled. I need others to make my life better.
- d) I am not getting my life to work right and I have a mental health issue — I will never be able to manage my problems, so I will make my problems your problems.
- e) If I do not show up for a requirement, make me the exception. Let me off the hook.
Words That Lift, Words That Put Down
Words that lift: if you want me to do better, put it in words that show me how to see what is the truth about who I am — not words that condemn me.
1) If I live with no value for myself, I will not hear truth
- a) No value = no sense (nonsense). If I believe I have no value, then what you have to say to me will have no value.
- b) No truth = lame (excuses for being a liar). If I am a liar, are you a liar?
2) If I do not hear words of truth, I will lose my freedom
- If I believe all that I hear is lies, I will manufacture words that will offend others. As a result of offending others, I will violate your value and be guilty of hurting you. If I am guilty of hurting you, I will not have others in my life to hold me accountable. If I am not accountable to others, I will lose my freedoms — because no one will trust me with freedoms.
3) If I lose my freedom, I will destroy myself
- If you do not trust me with freedoms, I will take an action that proves I can't be trusted and need correction. If I do not receive correction, I will destroy myself in predictable ways — the main thing I destroy is any value for truth, and ultimately freedom.
4) This creates a circle of stupid thinking
- I become a loser and lose everything that has value in my life.
Words that put me down: the world around me is so small, because I have lost my freedom. I avoid others, I move around my little world where others cannot see me, and I live in a rut of repeated failures.
1) This way of living is full of words that always hurt others
- a) As a result of putting others down, I live alone even if I am with others.
- b) I become a loner, which is in the same family of words as loser.
- c) The best way to know who is a loser is to find the people who are loners — they hang out together and drop f-bombs.
- d) When you are under the influence of losers/loners, you will find people who live with the habits of self-destruction.
- e) People who live in the habits of self-destruction are “walking dead” — they live in a rut, and their daily routines are predictable. They sabotage everything they put their hands on.
2) Even though no one understands the challenges of my life
- They see the disorder and chaos and interpret that as “never gonna change.” In reality it means I suffer from recurring nightmares and hear voices that scare the hope right out of my life. Without hope in my life, I will look just like a person who will never change.
Ambivalence & Commitment
Ambivalence: do something, or do nothing — then repeat. Nothing is ever accomplished when we are ambivalent.
1) I will only fail again
- If I try to correct a mistake, start a new project, find a lost relationship, encounter a new opportunity, redesign a poor plan, or look in the mirror and find a value for the person I see there.
- a) My self-protection mind set is in control of my emotions.
- b) My self-importance will not let me make mistakes.
- c) My will power is too weak for me to create any achievement in my life.
- d) And I am waiting to win the lottery anyway.
2) I do not have any support in my life — and I can't read anyway
- a) I cannot make any moves that will make my weaknesses known to others.
- b) I have not thought about anything changing because I don't want to be disappointed again.
- c) New stuff always breaks — so why should I start up anything that will quit on me?
3) I have no ability to budget for having any money
- I will only be poor, so I don't need a budget. Who makes plans when you can't have a life with good stuff in it?
- a) Sometimes I really do want things to get better.
- b) Sometimes I really do think things are getting better.
- c) Sometimes I think that everyone is against me.
- d) Then I lose the desire for things that people won't help me with.
4) So, I am a piece of garbage
- a) Everybody thinks I am not good for anything.
- b) I guess I am not good at anything.
Commitment: to be convinced that I am worth the effort of building what will make my life better — and acting on that conviction by building relationships with people, places, or things that will stand the test of time.
1) Don't look too close at my past — you won't think I can be successful
- a) So many people have walked away from me so many times that I don't think I will ever find anyone who will believe in me.
- b) I have avoided any person, place, or thing that would put me at risk of having to take a test.
- c) I have lived in chaos and self-destruction for so long I would not understand what discipline can do for my life.
2) Don't look too close at my past — you'll find old troubles I'm trying to lose
- a) I really don't know how to solve problems that came from my past mistakes.
- b) I really don't know where to go to find where I am safe from my mistakes.
- c) I really don't know when I will ever get to a place in life where I am free.
- d) I really don't know what is good about today, much less tomorrow.
3) With all the uncertainty in my life
- I have to wait and see if I should ever believe that someone would have a place for me in anything good.
- a) I am isolated from people who hate me.
- b) I am insulated from people who want to put heat on me to help me learn what I can do to improve life today and ensure better days ahead.
- c) All the good things in life are out of my reach — I will live in the ruins of the past.
4) There is nowhere in my future that I can go that will get me ahead
- a) I have no future, I only have the past.
- b) I have nothing of any value, and that means I have no value.
- c) I wish that today would just get over — I already hate tomorrow.
- d) No one understands how hard it is to be me, or to live my life. No one has ever had it this bad. No one wants to be around a loser like me, anyway.
Attitudes and Harnesses worksheet · Word .docx
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