Turn Right · Lesson
Fear
How does fear affect my life? Fear is an unpleasant emotion, and for some it is caused by the belief that someone or something is likely to cause pain, or is a threat. There is another, greater fear: the fear of not knowing.
Understanding Our Affections
1) Whatever I focus on becomes my motivator
- a) Humans have the ability to “see” what has value.
- b) Not all of us have the “skill” to see what has value.
- c) If we discover what has value, we can become motivated by what has value.
- d) If we do not discover what has value, we become motivated by the unknown — not knowing how to learn is the single greatest cause of fear in humans.
The triggers for fear
- A) Ignorance — we can “teach” our emotions to be in control, out of control, or under control. But if we do not understand our emotions, we can become influenced by our feelings to the point of being afraid of how we feel.
- B) Being in pain — pain is a major motivator for fear. We even create a pathway for fear in our lives so we can become controlled by emotions.
Evidence of fear
- Self-importance — “No one understands what I am feeling.”
- Self-destruction — “I lose my way through difficult times in life.”
- Self-righteousness — “I will excuse my lack of understanding of how I have lost my value for myself.”
- Self-direction — “The only resource I have is my emotional state.”
- Not resourceful — “The only choice I have is to survive, not gain any growth from learning.”
2) Whatever I allow to motivate my life becomes my basis for emotions
- A) Humans have emotional triggers. Memories from the past create thoughts. These thoughts can become obsessions.
- B) When we give our memories a direct video feed to our brain during our daily routines, we can become “influenced” by our memories as if they were real and able to “begin again.” This wiring is called a trigger — wired to begin again.
- C) Living “wired up” makes us highly likely to repeat what we let ourselves obsess on. Being disabled by this is what causes us to feel things will never change, and that brings on the compulsion to act on our fears. This is the “fight or flight” of life.
For example, triggers can include
- Loud noises.
- A certain song.
- Travelling on the same street again.
- A certain color or style of someone's hair.
- An odor of perfume.
- The threat of germs on a door knob.
- Words in a phrase.
3) Whatever I allow to become emotionally attached to me becomes a drain on my ability to be free
- Now we must get to reality — we need to be able to reason, we must become “reasonable.” I must admit that I have emotions that are “attached” to me because of how I am “wired.” These emotions can drain me of my ability to be reasonable. I must admit that I am unreasonable, and learn how to replace my emotions with the ability to reason. This is the way to break the ties that fears have to my life.
4) Whatever I give my freedoms to becomes my “master”
- A) What does freedom mean? What gives me my freedom? Who becomes part of my freedom? When will I know if I am free? Where will my freedom impact my life the most? Why do I need to be free in order to have the best life possible? How does my freedom affect the people that I love?
- B) How much help do we need to maintain our freedoms? Who gives me the most support when I am at risk of losing freedoms? Where is the best place for me to get to so I can understand how to be free? If I could do 10 things differently that would affect my freedoms, what would they be? What 10 people are the most important in helping me maintain my freedoms?
5) Whatever happens next in life — just a roll of the dice, or the results of good choices?
- A) The results of my affections place certain behavioral requirements on my life. I get to choose how I respond to what “affects” my life. I must remember that my choices have created where I am in my life today.
- B) My beliefs will continue to be affected by what I allow to be brought into my life. Healthy boundaries always create healthy limits. Unhealthy boundaries always create a doormat existence in life.
6) Whatever I become “lucky” enough to have in life becomes my way of explaining where I am at
- A) Having wisdom has nothing to do with being “lucky.” My good outcomes in life always come from resourceful thinking and living. As a result of resourceful living, success always looks like a focused effort.
- B) I will never need to explain why I make good choices. I will always have to explain what I am afraid of and how those fears motivate me. The pain from losses in life can be the motivator for greater learning and the discovery of resources that will make my life better.
The secret of life is not what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.