How does Fear affect my life?
Fear is an unpleasant emotion and for some it is caused by the belief that someone or something is likely to cause pain, or is a threat. There is another greater fear the fear of not knowing.
Understanding our affections
1) Whatever I focus on becomes my motivator.
a- humans have the ability to “see” what has value.
b- not all of us have the “skill” to see what has value.
c- if we will discover what has value, then we can become motivated by what has value.
d- if we do not discover what has value, then we will become motivated by the
unknown – (“not knowing” how to learn is the single greatest cause of fear in humans).
The triggers for fear.
We can “teach” our emotions to be in control or to be out of control or to
be under control. But if we do not understand our emotions then we can
become influenced by our feelings to the point of being afraid of how we feel.
B) Being in pain
Pain is a major motivator for fear. We even create a pathway for fear in our lives so we can become controlled by emotions.
Evidence of fear is:
– self importance – (No one understands what I am feeling).
– self destruction – (I lose my way through difficult times in life).
– self righteous – (I will excuse my lack of understanding how I have lost my
value for myself).
– self direction – (The only resource I have is my emotional state).
– I am not resourceful – (the only choice I have is to “survive” not gain any
growth from learning).
2 ) Whatever I allow to motivate my life becomes my basis for emotions.
A) Humans have emotional triggers. Memories from the past create thoughts. These thoughts can become obsessions.
B) When we give our memories direct video feed to our brain during our daily routines, we can
become “influenced” by our memories as if these memories are real and able to do another
“begin again”. This action of wired memories is called triggers. “Triggered- wired to begin again”
C) At this time of living “wired up” we become highly likely to live into another repeat of what we
let ourselves obsess on. The effects of being wired to our memories/obsessions can become disabling. This feeling of being
disabled is what causes us to feel like things will never change and that is what brings on the compulsions
of doing something just so we can satisfy our need to act upon our fears. This way of thinking is called “The fight or flight” of life.
– I will fight this fear “this way”.
– I will repeat this action in order to fight the fear.
– I will repeat this action in order to get me away from the fear.
– Loud noises.
– A certain song.
– Travelling on the same street again.
– A certain color/style of someone’s hair.
– An odor of perfume.
– The threat of germs on a door knob.
– Words in a phrase.
3) Whatever I allow to become emotionally attached to me, becomes a drain on my ability to be free.
Now we must get to reality- we need to be able to reason, we must become “reasonable”.
I must admit that I have emotions that are “attached” to me because of how I am “wired”.
These emotions can drain me of my ability to be reasonable. I must admit that I am unreasonable.
I must learn how to replace my emotions with the ability to reason.
This is the way to break the ties that fears have to my life.
4) Whatever I give my freedoms to, becomes my “master”.
A) What does freedom mean?
– What gives me my freedom?
– Who becomes part of my freedom?
– When will I know if I am free?
– Where will my freedom impact my life the most?
– Why do I need to be free in order to have the best life possible?
– How does my freedom affect the people that I love?
B) How much help do we need to maintain our freedoms?
– Who give me the most support when I am at risk of losing freedoms?
– Where is the best place for me to get to so I can understand how to be free?
– If I could do 10 things different that would affect my freedoms what would they be?
– What 10 people are the most important people that will help me maintain my freedoms?
5) Whatever happens next in life: Just a roll of the dice? – or – the results of Good Choices?
A) The results of my affections will place certain behavioral requirements on my life.
I get to choose how I respond to what “affects” my life.
I must remember that I my choices have created where I am in my life today.
B) My beliefs will continue to be affected by what I allow to be brought into my life.
Healthy boundaries always create healthy limits.
Unhealthy boundaries always create a doormat existence in life.
6) Whatever I become “lucky” enough to have in life becomes my way of explaining where I am at.
A) Having wisdom has nothing to do with being “lucky”.
My good outcomes in life always come from resourceful thinking and living.
As a result of resourceful living, success always looks like a focused effort.
B) I will never need to explain why I make good choices. I will always have to explain what I am
afraid of and how those fears motivate me. The pain that comes from having losses in life can be the motivator for greater learning and the discovery
of resources that will make my life better.